When “I Didn’t Get Anything Done” Isn’t True

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I’m remembering a coaching client who came to a December session in tears. She was juggling childcare, household responsibilities, and extended family needs while trying to keep her dissertation going through the holidays.

 

Each evening ended the same way: “I didn’t get anything done.”

 

When we slowed down and looked more carefully, a different picture emerged.

 

She had spent many of those days responding to others’ needs, keeping things from falling apart, and protecting a small amount of mental space for work that mattered to her. None of that showed up as pages. All of it required judgment and effort.

 

What helped wasn’t a better schedule or more willpower. It was clarity about priorities.

 

She paused to name her core values for that season of life and used them to guide decisions. Some days that meant choosing care over productivity. Other days it meant protecting a modest block of focused time.

 

The work didn’t suddenly become easy. But it became more coherent. She started replacing beating herself up with a quiet sense of integrity about how she was proceeding.

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The Hidden Work That Wears You Down

 

Much of the strain doctoral students experience has less to do with writing itself than with managing the conditions that make writing possible.

 

Several kinds of hidden work show up again and again.

 

1. Life responsibilities.
   Caring for children, supporting family members, managing a household, holding a job, and carrying emotional responsibility all draw from the same pool of energy your dissertation requires. When these demands are high, your day may be spent coordinating rather than producing pages.

2. Capacity limits.
   Illness, fatigue, disrupted sleep, medication effects, or chronic conditions can sharply reduce focus and stamina. These are not failures of discipline, yet many students plan as if capacity were stable and unlimited.

3. Grief and crisis.
   Loss, illness, caregiving, and prolonged stress don’t simply interrupt dissertation work. They change how you think, concentrate, and recover. Restarting after disruption takes real effort.

4. Skill building.
   Learning methods, reading foundational literature, or developing academic voice may produce few visible outputs. From the outside, it can look like nothing is happening. In reality, essential groundwork is being laid.

5. Project coordination.
   Deciding what comes next, sequencing tasks, restarting after setbacks, and holding the whole project together over time is mentally taxing. Doing this without much guidance or feedback adds to the load.

 

None of these reflect a character flaw. Rather they are simply part of the work to be managed.

 

What Helps Instead

 

When you recognize this hidden labor, the goal isn’t to make the dissertation easy. It’s to respond with structure and judgment rather than self-criticism.

 

When responsibilities are high, clarify what matters most now. Let values guide trade-offs instead of trying to do everything. Consider what tasks can be deleted or deferred.

 

When capacity is limited, plan for reality rather than ideals. Adjusting expectations to fit actual energy is not giving up. It’s respecting constraints. Consider delegating and downsizing some less critical tasks.

 

When grief or crisis is present, shorten the planning horizon. Ask: What needs attention now? What needs to be set up next? The rest can wait.

 

When skill-building dominates, treat preparation as progress. Understanding and readiness matter, even when pages are sparse.

 

When everything feels overwhelming, resist the urge to make longer to-do lists. Lists often make everything seem urgent. What’s needed is structure: deciding what belongs today, what can wait, and what no longer fits.

 

None of this eliminates the complexity of dissertation work. But it makes that complexity easier to navigate.

 

It shifts the question from
“Why does this feel so hard?”
to
“What deserves my attention now?”

 

You don’t need more grit to finish your dissertation. You need a way of working that fits the life you’re actually living. When the hidden work is named and managed, momentum can return—and the path forward to your degree feels more possible.

 

Wisdom to Carry With You

 

“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”
— Peter Drucker

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“You can do anything, but not everything.”
— David Allen

 

Recommended Resources

 

Getting Things Done by David Allen
A practical framework for managing commitments and reducing cognitive overload.

 

Deep Work by Cal Newport
Ideas for protecting high-quality thinking time in demanding projects.

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Recommended Resources

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Our positive psychology dissertation coaches help clients clarify priorities, build workable structures, and navigate challenges with greater confidence. Click here to request a complimentary session and see if coaching is right for you.