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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
2. Dissertation Defeaters with Dependable Antidotes, by Judith Tutin, Ph.D.
3. Testimonial from Edward Bouquillon, Ph.D.
In this issue, Judith Tutin, Ph.D., addresses common thinking traps that might be holding you back as you write your dissertation. I will also share with you an inspirational success story from one ABDSG reader who made it across the finish line.
Ben's Note, November 21, 2005
Dear Reader, <$firstname$> times are changing!
Note the jazzy new html format for the ABDSG newsletter. Rest assured that we are not sacrificing substance for style! As you will see in this issue, we continue to provide articles and tips to support you in the writing process. In this issue, Dr. Judith Tutin addresses common "dissertation defeaters" and offers useful tips to help us get out of our own way. Read on to see which thinking traps you may have set for yourself.
Finally, I have an exciting new e-newsletter about the white hot science of Positive Psychology with its relevance for increasing happiness and meaning in your students' lives and in your own work and life as well. If you're interested, go to www.coachingtowardhappiness.com and subscribe to my new, free Coaching Toward Happiness eNewsletter.
Warmly,
Ben
Dissertation Defeaters with Dependable Antidotes
By Judith Tutin, Ph.D.
=============================================================
You've reviewed the literature and found it wanting, sadly
wanting and in need of your contribution. You've got the hypotheses
and you know how it's all going to work out: Perfectly, seamlessly....
Simple yet elegant, just like that BMW you'll be driving once it's
all over and done with and you're in post-defense wonderland.
Back to reality, folks. Why isn't it happening?
Check out the following list of dissertation defeaters. Have you been knocked down by any of them lately? Once they are identified, you can employ the appropriate antidote and pull yourself back up:
I-Can't-itis
Saying you can't (can't find the time, can't find
the assistant, can't find the article, can't find your
underwear) is a real dead-ender and a sure dissertation defeater.
If you can't, well, there's not much more to be done,
is there?
Yes, there is! The antidote for this defeater: Say, "I can." I can do it, find it, get it, figure it out, etc. You've been doing it, finding it, getting it and figuring it out for about four years already. Eight years if we count college, and 20 if we count all the earlier years of school. Your own personal history is evidence that you can, so your new mantra is "Yes, I can do it! Let's see, where do I get started?"
Isolation
Too busy for family and friends? For the past (fill in the blank)
weeks? Going it alone, reclusive and miserable, is another dissertation
defeater. You've heard of that book, "It Takes a Village?" Take
all the help you can get. A night out for beer with the gang, chicken
soup from Mom, pizza with your best friend....It's all
good. It's all support.
Social Comparison
In other words: The Dangers of Comparing Oneself with Others. Others
who are, of course, smarter, faster, more profound, less insecure,
more impressive....You get the point. Beating yourself down
with comparisons is an insidious dissertation defeater. The antidote
is a reality check. You were admitted to the same school, made
it through the same grueling classes, and are now on the same riveting
rollercoaster ride they're on, or just got off. You're
as good as any of them and, deep down, you know it.
Woe Is Me
Or How Feeling Sorry For Myself Can Take Up an Entire Day (or several
days)
Do you hear yourself moaning about how you can't do normal
things like the rest of the universe (go to movies, enjoy a leisurely
10 mile hike, take a vacation)? Do you find yourself fretting about
how your advisor turned out to be the most useless individual you
could have possibly chosen to guide your journey through the perils
of the dissertation nightmare? Okay. So what's the antidote?
Maybe it was a little crazy to get on this ride at this point in your life, but be honest—you really wanted it, didn't you? Whatever that carrot was at the end of your stick...the career, the feeling of accomplishment, the possibility of having an impact on thinking in your tiny part of the world...you can't lose sight of it now. That's what it's all about. You're almost there. Feel good about how much you've put in and how close you are.
There are many other defeaters and antidotes. Don't dream of failure, dream of success; don't regret the topic you chose, relish it; don't hate your computer, love it like your most cherished possession. It's all in the thinking. Think your way into success. Pat yourself on the back. And maybe a little reward is in order after you take your next step: the chocolate, new book, new movie, new CD...Go for it!
About Dr. Judith Tutin
===========================================================
Judith Tutin earned her Ph.D. in psychology from the University of
Vermont in 1984. She has taught psychology and conducted workshops
in self-esteem enhancement, parenting, anger management and brief
treatment. Recently, she expanded her psychotherapy practice to
include life coaching. She enjoys working with people who are involved
in transitions like divorce, empty-nest syndrome and relocation.
She has a passion for the issues that single, professional parents
face when they juggle children, school or career, and their social
lives. Contact Dr. Tutin with comments or questions or to schedule
a complimentary coaching session at jtutin@bellsouth.com.
Encouraging Words from Edward Bouquillon, Ph.D.—He did it!
I am posting (with permission) excerpts from a letter I received from Edward Bouquillon, Ph.D. He was a faithful reader of the ABDSG newsletter, and now he is Dr. Bouquillon!
Dear Ben,
I defended in Feb and graduated from Penn State in May 2004. The Ph.D. and THE DISSERTATION are complete; it's bound, on the shelf, and several publications and recognitions have been graciously granted. Was it worth it? Yes, it was...and its worth, however you measure it, has value and is helping me fulfill what I call "my life's energy" (MLE). MLE is a simple statement that describes my purpose in work and in life. Everyone has one (an MLE), perhaps articulated in word, perhaps in deed only. While an ABD, I was encouraged to write MLE in words and understand the doctorate in light of MLE. I am still refining these words, as we all must do. I encourage all ABD's to push through the many walls that are presented and those that we present ourselves. It does not matter when you started, it only matters that you did start. Congratulations for where you are now. AND now that you are in the stage of writing and refining and doubting and understanding and rising and falling, be mindful that this IS ALL WORTH IT. Keep going, finish as your life and circumstances will reluctantly agree, take a moment to write down your Life's Energy and keep it in front of you, and integrate this into the mind numbing struggles with data and tables and advisors who may or may not read your revisions. This is for you, not for anyone else. YES, it is selfish, and few will understand the content of what you are doing, but it will help you live your Life's Energy and life itself will reveal the worth of this struggle to you.I am reminded of the holidays and being ABD....Hey, remember that your family and friends want you to finish. You may see them over the next few weeks and their questions may bring frustration and doubt to you. This will be the perfect time to share your MLE with them in simple words that speak to the heart of why you are doing this. If they understand, fine; if they smile and have a vacant, judging look, well...have another glass of wine and more apple pie. And be grateful they are with you. The sun is rising now, and I need to get to work. A job I love. Yes, it is worth it. My latest MLE? See below: "I am present to the potential in people within systems (organizations), and my life's work is to bring both the person and the organization to potential. My intuition and vision within this process exceed present self-perceptions (individually and corporately), thus providing strategies and tactics that are successful over time." Ben, keep this growing, and thank YOU.
Regards,
Ed Edward Bouquillon, Ph.D.
DMSNE
Organization Consultants
1137B Dwight St.
Holyoke, MA
Dr. TRACY STEEN, Editor, ABDSG
Tracy Steen, Ph.D., is
a clinical psychologist and writing coach in Philadelphia, PA.
She received her Ph.D. from the University
of Michigan and completed a postdoctoral fellowship in positive
psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Steen draws on
her research background in positive psychology in her coaching
work with writers, helping them to remove internal obstacles so
they can find more engagement and flow in their work. You can contact
Dr. Steen with questions about this newsletter or about writing
coaching in general at tracy@mentorcoach.com. You can also visit
her website at www.tracysteen.com
YOUR OWN COACH
If you are considering whether to get your own coach to help you
reach your academic goals, send any email to the following: ben16-76471@autocontactor.com
BEN DEAN, Publisher, ABDSG
Ben holds a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Texas
at Austin. He is the founder of MentorCoach (www.MentorCoach.com),
a virtual university focused on training accomplished helping professionals
to become extraordinary coaches. He is also founder of eCoach (www.ecoach.com),
which trains interdisciplinary professionals to become coaches.
and visit www.coachingtowardhappiness.com, for his Coaching
Toward Happiness newsletter on applying the new science of Positive Psychology
to your work and life (131,000 readers). Ben lives in suburban
Maryland with his wife, Janice, and their two children and
Norman, their Norwegian dwarf bunny.
=====> Ben J. Dean,
Ph.D., MentorCoach®
4400 East West Hwy/ # 1104 • Bethesda, MD 20814 • USA
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