PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION All-But-Dissertation Survival Guide - March 3, 2006
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE - Mar. 3, 2006
2. Taming the Perfectionist as You Complete Your Dissertation By Christine Coward
March 3, 2006
A Note from the Editor
Tracy Steen, Ph.D.
As you resolutely persevere through the ups and downs of your ABD process, are you getting any unsolicited advice? (I'm guessing there are more than a few nods out there.) If the advice comes from those who really care about you, it's probably well meaning and you don't want to be unappreciative. But sometimes it's hard to take—especially from those who have very little idea of what you're doing. Although we at ABD Survival Guide are always handing out advice to you, at least we do have a very good idea—born of shared experience—of what you're doing, and we hope that the bond of commonality (note I did not say shared misery!) will enable us to be helpful.
As I look back over my own ABD days, I think the casual, unsolicited advice that I heard most often from my acquaintances was the simple (and simplistic) admonition, "Oh, don't worry." There is something irritatingly dismissive in the rather offhand toss of those words. They seem to suggest in an oblique sort of way that we need to stop our fretting so that our wet blanket won't splash a drop or two on the bearer of the unsolicited advice. In other words, it may be for another's ease as much as our own that we are blithely advised, "Don't worry." It's sometimes difficult not to snap in reply, "Easy for you to say!"
"Don't worry" would actually be great advice if it were something we could readily implement: "Oh, what a good idea; I won't worry any more!" Unfortunately, perfect mind control is not in our repertoire. We may be working on it, but it has yet to be perfected in most of us. So, we worry. We may worry about the dissertation process. We may worry about life in general. And often we even worry about worrying--After all, we don't want to be that wet blanket I mentioned earlier. So what can we do about our worrying?
We first need to recognize that everyone worries at times, and it may be a good thing if it spurs us to action. Yes, worry can be productive. However, as Dr. Lynne Berrett notes in an article that will appear in a future issue of our newsletter, "You will need to learn how to harness the raw energy of anxiety." Unrestrained worry produces tension, saps energy, and steals your focus (something you can ill afford to lose while working on the big D)! To restrain your worry and, when possible, direct it into a productive channel, you must realistically assess your concerns, recognizing the difference between what is within your control and what is not. If you can do something about a problem, then make a plan and follow it, turning your worry into the productive variety. But what if your concern is over something beyond your control?
Life is full of things beyond our control, providing a minefield of opportunities for the worrywart. Unproductive worry very often takes the form of "what if." What if I get sick? What if I don't get a good job? What if my relationship doesn't last? There is no end to our list of "what if" concerns because there is no end to life's uncertainties. We must peacefully coexist with them because they will persist, one after another, for as long as we breathe (another uncertainty). That's not a negative view; that's just life! But even as we accept that reality, we can commit to changes that reduce our anxiety level and lighten the shadow of worry in our lives.
One of the first places we might look to reduce our anxiety is in the past. Bad memories, sad memories—Let them go. Too often our past mistakes become a prime source of worry by causing us to be distrustful of our ability to function well in the here and now, and in the future. We ruminate—a particularly insidious form of worry characterized by dwelling on negatives—and the strong pull of the past impedes our movement forward. The antidote to ruminating is savoring---that is, thinking about the good things that have happened to you. Whenever you start to dwell on unpleasant episodes from your past, direct your mind to thoughts of the pleasurable times in your life. If you have trouble coming up with them when you're feeling down, make and keep a list of the good things and refer to it as needed. Savor! Savor rather than ruminate. With practice you can do it ever more readily, and it really does work.
Another way to calm the worried mind is simply to talk. You don't want to get the "Oh, don't worry" brush-off I mentioned earlier, so try to find someone who appreciates the challenges you're up against. You might talk with a co-worker, family member, fellow grad student—anyone willing to lend a sympathetic ear. Just talking out your worries may help put them in perspective.
And speaking of perspective, one of the best means of adjusting or correcting perspective, and putting a few unproductive worries to rest, may come during quiet times of prayer or meditation. Whatever your spiritual point of reference, consider upgrading this aspect of your life if you would like to enlarge your prospects for mental calm.
Another approach to putting worries aside—or at least encouraging them to take a break—is to write them down, along with a list of possible courses of action. Somehow the transference from mind to paper provides a mental respite. It's as if your mind accepts your writing-it-down as evidence that you are taking control, making further brooding unnecessary—at least for a while, as you decide which course of action to take. You may find that writing out a potential plan of action clarifies both your problem and the options you have for tackling it.
Reviewing these suggestions for managing unproductive worry, you may be thinking, "Easier said than done!" How right you are! And well I know it, for I myself am inclined to be a worrywart (surely one of the 10 ugliest words in the English language), but I'm working on it and gaining ground. Although many of us may be worriers by nature--genetically programmed to be worrywarts --we do have the ability to influence the force and the direction of our inclinations.
Those of you in ABD status are obviously blessed with that ability. You are able to govern your anxieties and move ahead despite them, as evidenced by the advances you have already made through the rigors of graduate school and the stresses of the process in which you're now engaged. It's a hard road—harder than most people who haven't been ABD could possibly realize—but you will reach your goal. You have not just the academic ability, but also the requisite discipline to marshal your inner forces and keep moving forward. Moving in fits and starts, perhaps, but moving forward nonetheless.
If that forward movement isn't quite as swift as you would like it to be, could the perfectionist in you be functioning as a retardant to progress? That possibility is addressed in this week's guest article, "Taming the Perfectionist as You Complete Your Dissertation," by Christine Coward. Also, be sure to scroll down to this week's Inspirational Quote and consider the late Viktor Frankl's observation about tension. Although we've spent quite a few paragraphs on how to reduce our tensions, this remarkable man has reminded us that a tensionless state is not our greatest need or highest gain.
Until next time:
May all your trials bring victory!
And may all your worries be productive!
TAMING THE PERFECTIONIST AS YOU COMPLETE YOUR DISSERTATION
By Christine Coward
=============================================================
Are you are deep into the dissertation process but wondering when you will
finally finish and be able to move on to the next phase of your life? Despite
nipping away and writing on a semi-consistent basis, you may be expending
a great deal of energy on redundant effort. This is not uncommon for individuals
intent on getting things done "just right," and most doctoral students
fall into this category. Perhaps you are caught up in rewriting draft after
draft without ever validating your efforts and moving forward. Perhaps you
are at a point where you need to ask yourself, am I really so much of a perfectionist
that I can't bring myself to share these drafts with my advisor? If you seem
to be trapped by your own perfectionist inclinations, you are not alone.
Graduate students often impede their own progress in this way, but it's a
readily remedied situation. Try the following tips to manage the perfectionist
in you and move you ahead through the dissertation process.
- Recognize that it's really okay to make an occasional mistake! You will be surprised at what learning comes from imperfection, and often what comes next is a freedom in your writing that you may have not experienced before.
- Connect to the rewards of getting your dissertation done. There are a variety of rewards that will have meaning for you, and it helps to keep them in mind. Imagine the pride you will feel when this huge accomplishment is completed. Imagine walking down the aisle during graduation. Imagine securing a great job. Imagine bringing more balance back to your life. Imagine having free time in which you are unburdened from feeling the need to write. These thoughts are not daydreams; they are mental projections of the future, the future that lies just behind the completion of your dissertation. The present is going to take you into that future, so allow yourself to look ahead, even as you do what is required in the present to get the dissertation done.
- Instead of looking for perfection, strive for excellence. What is "perfection" anyway? Most likely, no two people will agree on what constitutes perfection in any given situation. What is the perfect thesis? What is the perfect chapter? What is the perfect dissertation? On the other hand, "excellence" is a much clearer, attainable, yet equally worthy target. You can be an "excellent" student without getting a perfect 100. You can produce an excellent dissertation without meeting an arbitrary standard of perfection.
- Focus on what's realistic rather than what's ideal. Even though you could always do more research and re-write the chapter you are working on, consider the time and resources available to you and ask yourself, "What's a realistic amount of work to put into this?"
- Let your advisor see your drafts. Even if you are not satisfied with your current draft, share it with your advisor for valuable feedback. Your advisor's input into your writing can steer you in the right direction as well as give you some positive support for your work.
- Give yourself a time limit for completing a section of your writing. The time you spend on making your dissertation "perfect" takes away valuable time from other things that are also important. This can have a negative effect on other tasks you are trying to accomplish as well as limit your opportunities to relax and have fun.
- Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Perfectionists often don't take the time to reward themselves because they are never satisfied with the work they have completed. It doesn't matter how big or small the reward, just remember to celebrate after you've completed a section of writing or submitted a draft to your advisor.
Good luck putting into practice the above tips. If you can let go of perfectionist tendencies, you will be able to move forward much more readily with your dissertation. Your immediate reward will be a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment, and your eventual reward will be completion, at last, of that dissertation!
About Chris Coward
===========================================================
Chris Coward, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed social worker who has worked with children,
families and adults for over fifteen years. Her business, Coaching to Fulfillment,
helps adults reach their dreams and goals through increased clarity, a sense
of purpose, and an action plan that brings their goals to fruition and leads
to personal fulfillment. Chris specializes in working with musicians to help
them find success in their business, and working with parents of children with
learning differences and behavior problems to help them promote their children's
strengths and manage the challenges of parenting. Chris can be reached at 267-226-7935
or by e-mail at moozic@msn.com.
Inspirational Quote
"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him."
— Viktor Frankl
Man's Search for Meaning
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Dr. TRACY STEEN, Editor, ABDSG
Tracy Steen, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist and dissertation
coach in Philadelphia, PA. She received her Ph.D. from the University of Michigan
and completed a postdoctoral fellowship in positive psychology at the University
of Pennsylvania. Dr. Steen draws on her research background in positive psychology
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