All-But-Dissertation Survival Guide is devoted
to practical steps for completing your doctoral dissertation
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE - Jan. 18 2006
2. Mommy, What is Dessert Tay Sun? By Mary Lou Bernardo, Ph.D.
January 18, 2006
A Note from the Editor
Tracy Steen, Ph.D.
In our last newsletter we wished you a Happy New Year, and now the month of January 2006 is more than halfway over. Well, time flies, as they say, whether you're having fun or not! And as January slips away, many New Year's resolutions will slip away as well. But don't let your New Year's resolutions become New Year's recriminations—Self-recriminations, that is. Sure, those of us who made the promises to ourselves might have broken one or more, but it's likely that our New Year's resolutions were more hopeful than, well…resolute. It seems the breaking of annual resolutions is nearly as traditional as the preceding holiday events themselves. If your own promises have already hit the dust of ordinary human frailty, simply begin again. This year I sent my coaching clients a card that read as follows: "And now let us welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been. " It's a perfect thought for a new year, but it applies as well to a new week or a new day. Every morning offers new opportunities. (For confirmation of this observation from no less a personage than Ralph Waldo Emerson, check out this month's Inspirational Quote. )
If the dissertation claims a big part of your plans for 2006, Dr. Mary Lou Bernardo has some ideas to help you make progress toward your goal. Feeling a bit bogged down by the process already? It might be because of the gremlins! Dr. Bernado identifies five of them and provides precise strategies for their defeat. I can see it now: You—5, Gremlins--0
Mommy, What is Dessert Tay Sun?
Or How I Learned to Accomplish More by Struggling Less
Mary Lou Bernardo, Ph.D.
=============================================================
I knew it wouldn't be easy but I thought I could do it easily. I
had already written and published a master's thesis, hadn't I?
I had been an academic—writing all those publish-or-perish
articles. I had juggled an academic career, a husband, two large
dogs, and two pregnancies (not to mention newborns) while commuting
from Connecticut to my doctoral program in New York, hadn't
I? Dissertation? I can do it!
But then . . . then . . . the gremlins came to call. This brief article isn't going to be about juggling family and dissertation. This brief article isn't going to be about the multiple roles of women. This brief article is going to be about the green gremlins. Mine are always green. I don't know why, but green is the color of my gremlins. When they come to call, the gremlins throw a green blanket around my brain and I forget . . . just about everything I need to know. Just as a child screaming inconsolably in the middle of the night can drive all knowledge of child development from a brain, so can a dissertation drive all of a life's academic lessons from a brain. At least, it did to mine. But, ultimately, I learned a lot from my dissertation. Here's a little of what I learned.
1. Perfection does NOT pay.
This is one
of those learned but forgotten lessons. When writing for publication,
you quickly learn that an editor's job is to edit, no matter
what. Your manuscript may be perfect, but it will be edited. Likewise
with a dissertation adviser. That perfect paragraph you spent an
hour on? Sob! Gone with the whim of the editor! That detailed comparison,
with examples, between theory A and theory B? Too long! Cut it down. That diagram your artist cousin helped you with (after you cooked
a five course meal for her)? Not clear enough. Fix it. The editor
will prevail, so remember the following: Do good work and include
your main ideas without conceptual errors, but don't make it
perfect. It's a waste of your time at this point; and besides,
there's too much ego in perfection. Save the writer's
ego and the ABD ego for the final version. When your advisor does
his or her job on your manuscript, you don't want to have the
frustration and anger of hours lost. You need to conserve your energy. Banish the perfection gremlin!
2. Play time is gained time.
Are you
a drudge? An unrelenting work horse? If so, reclaim your play . . . in little bits and in big chunks. Are you stuck on a particular knotty
problem? Staring fruitlessly at the screen for hours just puts your
brain into neutral. Let yourself play three games of FreeCell or
Spider Solitaire or whatever little game you have. Do NOT surf the
web. Work the non-verbal part of your brain and give the verbal a
rest. The key here is to LIMIT the rest time. If your creativity
doesn't return in three games or 15 minutes, chances are you
need some physical activity. Maybe you even need to quit for the
day (gasp!). Maybe you haven't been playing enough. Get out
and have some fun. Allow yourself only a minute or two of dissertation
complaints. (It helps to have friends who haven't a clue about
dissertation. Their patience with your expressions of woe is more
quickly exhausted. ) Laugh! It's good for the cardio-vascular
system, the cerebro-vascular system, and the immune system. Your
play will gain you time. Banish the drudge gremlin.
3. Know your work
style.
Are you a morning person or an evening person? Do you work
better in silence or with background noise (and what kind of noise)?
Do you think best on your feet or were you Rodin's model for
The Thinker? If you've heard the advice to treat your dissertation
like a 9 to 5 job – forget it! Your dissertation style may
be completely different. If you work best in the morning and like
it quiet, try the very early hours. Four to seven a.m. worked best
for me (with a large pot of coffee). Like background noise? If it's
music, headphones help. If you like conversation, the TV may finally
be useful. If movement helps you think, consider walking around your
home with a cassette recorder in hand to record your main ideas;
or pace a room and stop to type brief summaries of your thoughts. The important concept is to have your dissertation work fit your
work style. This is one instance in which having it your way is not
only the best way but may be the only way. Forget what everyone else
does. Banish the comparison gremlin.
4. When in overload – ask
for help.
Humble pie is really very sweet. "I can do it!" Yes,
you can. But you don't have to do it all and you don't
have to do it alone. If you've always baked all the cakes for
Aunt Bessie's birthday bash, how about baking one or two and
buying the rest? Did you promise to paper Grandma's living
room and dining room? If it can't wait, ask for help and turn
it into a little party. Does young Johnny absolutely have to go to
the park RIGHT NOW? Well, this may be one of those learning opportunities – for
little Johnny and for you. Come up with an interim plan and then
plan ahead for next time.Really, really dislike asking for help?
Cash in some IOUs and write a few of your own. Why is this part so
hard for ABDs? Is asking for help like cheating, not doing it all
yourself? Does asking for help feel like the first step down a slippery
slope towards complacency and, ultimately, incompletion? It doesn't
have to be that way, and perhaps this is the core lesson. Perhaps
the dissertation is about growth, which we all know creates discomfort. So, grow . . . and banish the go-it-alone gremlin.
5. Finally - You
are not your dissertation.
"Mommy, what is dessert tay sun?" What
a good question! Dessert tay sun is a step or, perhaps, a stepping
stone. Dessert tay sun may be a lesson or a challenge or an exercise. But dessert tay sun is just one part of your life. It does not define
you. It is not your alter ego. It's not going to be in St. Peter's ledger or on your tombstone. In fact, dessert tay sun
may one day be forgotten. Banish the gremlin, whatever you call it,
which makes your dissertation all important in your life. Put it
in its place and it will get done. What is dessert tay sun? You're
in control; therefore, you have the answer.
Mary Lou Bernardo, Ph.D.
===========================================================
Mary Lou Bernardo, Ph.D. ,
is a psychologist, a nurse, a writer and a budding coach. You may
find her at her website www.mlbernardophd.com or contact her by
e-mail at coachphd@comcast.net or by phone at (203)650-1458.
Inspirational Quote
The world is all gates, all opportunities, and strings of tension waiting to be struck.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Dr. TRACY STEEN, Editor, ABDSG
Tracy Steen, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist
and dissertation coach in Philadelphia, PA. She received her Ph.D. from the University of Michigan and completed a postdoctoral fellowship
in positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Steen
draws on her research background in positive psychology in her coaching
work with writers, helping them to remove internal obstacles so they
can find more engagement and flow in their work. You can contact Dr. Steen with questions about this newsletter or about writing
coaching in general at tracy@mentorcoach.com. You can also visit
her website at www.tracysteen.com
YOUR OWN COACH
If you are considering whether to get your own coach to help you
reach your academic goals, send any email to the following: ben16-76471@autocontactor.com
BEN DEAN, Publisher, ABDSG
Ben holds a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Texas
at Austin. He is the founder of MentorCoach (www.MentorCoach.com),
a virtual university focused on training accomplished helping professionals
to become extraordinary coaches. He is also founder of eCoach (www.ecoach.com),
which trains interdisciplinary professionals to become coaches. and visit www.coachingtowardhappiness.com, for his Coaching
Toward Happiness newsletter on applying the new science of Positive Psychology
to your work and life (131,000 readers). Ben lives in suburban
Maryland with his wife, Janice, and their two children and
Norman, their Norwegian dwarf bunny.
=====> Ben J. Dean,
Ph.D. , MentorCoach®
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