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INSIDE THIS ISSUE - December 20, 2008
1. A Note from the Editor
2. Inspirational Quotes
December 20, 2008
A Note from the Editor
Tracy Steen, Ph.D.
How are your holidays going? Expectations are high this time of year, often unrealistically so, and high expectations often lead to high anxiety. If you are beginning to feel an infiltration of holiday stress, take a deep breath and get ready to make some realistic plans for holiday stress prevention.
First of all, it's important to recognize that it is normal to feel a little stress this time of year. It doesn't mean that you aren't fit for the seasonal setting of presents under a tree, snow softly falling, and good will toward all. That's the stuff of movies, and it doesn't always translate smoothly into the real world, though we often try to make it happen. The result of unrealistically high expectations, on top of everything else we have to do during the holidays, is anxiety. It's the body's response to the seasonal onslaught of overwhelming demand.
Take some time to reevaluate your expectations. Some holiday traditions are cherished; others are simply holiday routines that have become entrenched for no particular reason. Think about what is really important to you. Some will want to spend time with family, cook a traditional dinner, and write lots of holiday cards or e-mails. Others won't want to do any of those things. Simplify your holiday by concentrating on what is important to you and spending less time on things that are not. Try to get over the feeling that you have to do it all.
If spending time with family is one of those things that are not high on your list…well, you probably can't eliminate that entirely. Family is family, after all. But you can make up your mind that you won't let family issues raise your stress level this year. Consider in advance how you will respond (sweetly) to whatever irritation comes your way. If the brother-in-law makes some snide remark about how you are "still working on that Ph.D.," just smile, recognize his barely concealed envy, and feel virtuous about your restraint. (Be sure to check out Thomas Jefferson's salient advice on the subject in this issue's Inspirational Quotes.)
When you have to be around others who may be somewhat irritating, such as some coworkers or those incompatible family members again, you can forestall stress by making a mind game of not letting them get to you. You can decide that during the holidays you will accept the imperfections of others (and your own as well) with as much good humor as you can muster.
At the same time, be aware of those within your circle of friends who effectively quench your spirit and routinely add to your general anxiety. Is there a friend whose conversations often leave you feeling down rather than uplifted? Worried rather than encouraged, or angry rather than calm? Consider limiting those toxic friendships. Life will look considerably brighter, and not just during the holidays.
We can also help manage seasonal stress by maintaining some of the good habits we cultivate during the saner months of the year--specifically exercise, healthy eating, and moderation in drinking. Okay, so we don't consistently maintain those worthy goals at any time of year, though we try; yet the holidays seem to signal perversely some seasonal permission to totally abandon all guidelines for the duration. When we let go and observe the "Eat, Drink and Be Merry" dictum in excess, the results can be depressing; so try to stay more or less on course.
If
you find that you are way off course, begin again without self-reproach. Try
to get enough rest, and take time for some reflection on what you are doing
and where you are going. Everyone needs it. Whether you call it meditation,
contemplation, or regrouping, it's important to take reflective time for yourself.
Think you don't have time to do that? You can do it right now in 10-15 minutes, and you can do it in a way that is both fun and creative. Here's a hint: 5-7-5
Yes, I'm suggesting haiku.
No doubt your aspirations for the coming year have a lot to do with the dissertation. And perhaps there are personal issues weighing in as well. Try bringing your reflections together in the classic 17 haiku syllables.
Haiku provides a surprisingly freeing release as you allow your thoughts to reach beyond the ordinary (or stay grounded, as you prefer) to express mood, emotion, insight--anything you wish.
In this Japanese style of verse, the 17 syllables are divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. Here's a sample of haiku that just might be relevant to ABDs:
Beginning again
Old promises worth keeping
Fresh expectations
or
Relentless writing
'09 resolution made
Dissertation done
Please give it a try and send your haiku to steen_t@mail.trc.upenn.edu so that we can share them (with or without names, as you instruct) in a future issue.
The relaxation induced by haiku composition is itself a means of anxiety reduction.
And when you have mastered the 5-7-5 pattern (it really is fun to do!), take a look at the 5-step program outlined by Dr. Robyn Silverman. Her questions are designed to help you make an honest self-appraisal and create the best circumstances for your dissertation success.
Inspirational Quotes
Bertrand Wilberforce
Always direct your thoughts to those truths that will give you confidence,
hope, joy, love, thanksgiving; and turn away your mind from those that inspire
you with fear, sadness, depression.
Helen Keller
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
Brendan Francis
Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage
to action.
Thomas Jefferson
Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always
cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
Stuck, Stagnant and Stymied: Redefining
Your Who, What, Where, When, and Why
Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman
ABDs invariably ask themselves a lot of questions: What's my topic? Who will be on my committee? When will I have all my data collected? And while these questions are important, there are more personal questions that must be answered in order to motivate you and propel you toward success.
Eve, one of my thriving ABD clients, started coaching with me a few months ago. She was incredibly frustrated about her lack of progress. And who could blame her? She had been stagnant for over a year. Perhaps you can relate?
I often go through an intensive "who, what, where, when and why" questioning with my coaching groups and one-on-one clients. This process highlighted issues and clarified solutions for Eve. She recently handed in a full draft of her revised dissertation and is now planning her committee meeting. That can be you, too!
The following questions can be addressed before you begin the dissertation process as well as when you're in the thick of it. The best time to start is now. Are you creating the best circumstance for dissertation success? Let's take a look:
(1) Who?
Take a step back. Think about the people who most commonly touch your life--whether
in person, on the phone, over email, or through texting.
First, let's look at the positive: Who can you be around and still accomplish your work? Who should you surround yourself with in order to stay motivated? Who can help you the most?
Then think of those who are barriers to success: Who hurts your progress? Who distracts you? Who makes you feel incapable, incompetent, or anxious?
Surround yourself with the people who help you to move forward and fire those
who deter you from getting to your goal.
(2) What?
Yes, we basically know what we need to do--our dissertation! But as Eve and
I discussed in our weekly coaching sessions, saying it like that is really
a big elephant to eat!
Let's break it down: What do I have to do in detail? What are the smaller sections or bite-sized pieces that I can put on my to-do list? What's the plan for today, this week, this month--and what's my overarching timeline?
Then take another step back and get honest with yourself: What gets in my way? What can keep me on track? What are my expectations, the expectations of others, and are they both challenging and realistic?
Understanding exactly what needs to be done can help clear the vision so that you know exactly what you need to do now, what your vision is, and what the dissertation will look like when it's completed.
(3) Where?
This is an area that Eve and I examined with a very critical eye. The "where"
of the project is certainly tied in with the "who," but it creates
challenges and questions of its own. Again, let's start with the positive:
Where do I flourish when I sit down to write?
When I look at where I work, what should the space look like for maximum productivity? Logistics like "Where should I sit" and "Where should my research, data, computer, cork board, and planner be located?" should all be discussed and pinpointed.
On the negative side, ask yourself the following questions: Where is my work compromised? Where do I lose my focus? Where am I more apt to succumb to distractions? If you're being honest with yourself, you might just discover why you're not getting things done when you're, say, at your boyfriend or girlfriend's house, in your room where you constantly find something to clean or fix, or at school where you consistently find someone to talk to when you should be working.
[Editor's note: Check out this exhibit
on writers' rooms for inspiration.]
(4)
When?
Many of you, just like my coaching clients, are teaching assistants, parents,
boyfriends or girlfriends, or just plain busy. The "when" of writing
isn't always decided at our leisure. However, we do need to take control as
best as we can.
On the positive side, ask yourself: When is my best time of day for writing? How much time do I need to get this section done? When is the best time of the week for me to devote to my writing? Plan this in advance so that you are taking control of your success.
On the negative side, ask yourself: When do I get tired? When is my worst time of day to sit down and write? When does a break hinder my progress and when does it help me achieve my incremental goals?
When we determine the "when" of writing our dissertations, our
plan becomes real and certain.
(5) Why?
This is the most elusive of the questions. It's also the most important and
the most personal. The "why" of the dissertation determines your
motivation, inspiration, and enthusiasm for your project.
Ask yourself; Why am I doing this? Look at the big picture. The important components of the "why" might be: Whom is it helping? What good will it do? Who cares? Without a "why," your dissertation will feel empty, dull, and pointless.
During the times when the challenge seems insurmountable, when criticism feels endless and the light ahead looks dimly lit and far away, you will need a strong "why" to propel you forward. Whether you're doing this for the good of yourself, the good of your family, or the good of mankind, make sure the reason is sufficiently compelling to motivate you to move forward every day.
These simple yet powerful overarching questions can inspire you to determine the answers that are vital to your success. Every ABD student with whom I work has made important adjustments guided by the insight and clarification possible through an honest self appraisal with the "who, what, where, when and why" questions. Get honest with yourself, answer the questions, and allow your responses to shape the circumstances of your success.
Robyn J.A. Silverman, Ph.D. is a success coach who is known for her results-based
yet warm approach to goal achievement. Her clients range from top executives
to motivated students. Dr. Robyn is currently offering a free group coaching
call entitled "The Essential Secrets for Dissertation Success That Nobody
Remembered to Tell You" for the first 10 people who respond. This call is
as an introduction to her 6-session group coaching course for motivated ABD
students. Sign up for the January class by completing the contact page at
www.FinishThatDissertation.com.