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THE ALL-BUT-DISSERTATION SURVIVAL GUIDE(tm)
Devoted to practical steps for completing
your doctoral dissertation.
www.ecoach.com
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INDEX
1. Ben's Note
2. Balancing Motherhood & the Dissertation
By Chris Rummer, Ph.D.
3. Words of Wisdom
4. Inspirational QuoteSUMMARY
In this issue, Dr. Chris Rummer shares some
thoughts on balancing motherhood and the
dissertation.We round it out with Words of Wisdom and an
inspirational quote.
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Ben's NoteOctober 30, 2003
Dear ABD Survival Guide Reader,
This issue focuses on the delicate balancing
act of motherhood and the dissertation. If
the success of our ABD Moms email group is
any indication, there are quite a lot of you
working on raising your children while
completing the dissertation.In any case, I believe that the ideas
in this issue are relevant for you, whether
you have children, or not. Completing the
dissertation requires a delicate balancing act
between all the facets of your life.Just remember, as long as you keep working,
you're always moving closer to the dissertation
finish line.We offer a new Words of Wisdom, and a new
Inspirational Quote- thanks for sending
quotes and wisdom in- keep the submissions
coming.Enjoy, and see you in two weeks.
Warmly,
Ben=====================================
Balancing Motherhood and the Dissertation:
As Easy as Humble PieBy Chris Rummer, Ph.D.
=====================================My older daughter Shaun was between 15 and 21 months
old when I was collecting my dissertation data.
Despite the intervening years, I remember this
distinctly, because my subjects were 15- and 21-month-
olds, and she fell into the first age group when I
first began to collect the data, and into the second
age group as I finished. I didn't plan it this way
when I wrote my proposal, but there it was: a
synchronistic overlap between my professional and
personal lives that highlighted the precarious --and
often hilarious --balancing act between the two.In some ways, it was wonderful to have the opportunity
to formally study the ages unfolding in my child.
My dissertation wasn't just a theoretical exercise
occurring at some remove. Instead, it was a chance to
watch the amazing cognitive leap that occurs as a child
moves from the realm of single words and behaviors to
the place where increasingly complex sequences appear.It was also a chance to watch my child careen off walls,
open childproof bottles, and maneuver baby latches.
In the process, my observational skills sharpened and my
problem-solving behavior grew increasingly diverse. I
found I could work my way out of a locked garage or catch
a leaping child before she fell off the balcony or dove
into a twelve-foot deep pool. My networking skills broadened
as I developed alliances with neighbors who owned tall
ladders, pediatricians, and Poison Control. My feelings
of efficacy soared.Between the time I collected my data and the time my
dissertation was complete, we moved from san Diego to LA
to Seattle, and I got pregnant again. Once in Seattle, I had
to figure out a way to get my data analyzed on a computer
that was not compatible with the one on which it had been
entered (this was back in 1980, before PC's were on the scene),
and though this was challenging, it was a piece of cake
compared to figuring out how to keep my daughter
entertained. She would wake up in the morning ready to
embrace the world, and ask with exuberance, "Mommy, what
are we doing to today?" Mommy wanted to sleep, or maybe
throw up.Instead, I would wheedle a few more hours out of the baby-
sitting co-op, sit in front of my trusty typewriter, and bang
away with two fingers, resisting the urge to shout four-
letter words whenever our cat, Migraine, typed a letter or two
in the middle of the page.My dissertation lurched along in this fashion for months.
Almost nine, to be precise.But there were ways in which motherhood lent this whacky
process some balance. For one thing, my pregnancy
demanded that I take the time to eat right and to rest. If and
when Shaun napped, so did I. She also made sure I took time
to play. We went to the park or the library, colored, finger-
painted, watched Sesame Street, and sang Silly Songs. My
daughter's endless antics and boundless enthusiasm
filled my days with laughter, fresh air, and exercise.Motherhood also brings a profound sense of humility,
a dawning awareness that things often do not go as
planned, which held me in good stead as I muddled my way
through moments where my motivation failed, the data
disappeared, and the chapters refused to be written. This
willingness to try almost anything, along with a little
divine intervention, certainly helped me finish.When I was 8 months pregnant I flew to Hawaii for my
oral defense and told my committee that I would have
the baby on the spot if I didn't pass. They must have
been intimidated by this threat, because I had few
corrections to make, and I was able to get the final copy
typed that next month.My second child, like the first, was to arrive by Caesarean
section, which meant I had a fairly definite deadline to work
toward. So on the night before that November 7th, as I was
getting ready to go to the hospital, I put my dissertation into
a box, told my husband to make sure it got to the post office,
and turned to matters more pressing.In the end, I don't think I could have written a better
script if I tried. There was no time to worry about the
completed dissertation or to wonder, "what now?" My
daughters --both of them --would take care of that question,
providing endless hours of new 'data' for their mother.=======================================
About Chris Rummer, Ph.D.
=======================================
A licensed psychologist in Seattle, Chris's real passion
is empowering people as they move toward possibility.
She uses both Expressive Arts and Coaching in person
and via telephone to help people move through
significant life transitions --like writing a dissertation.She can be reached:
By Email: chrisrummer@artfulchange.com
By Phone: (206) 782-2947.
======================================
Words of Wisdom from New Ph.D.'s.
=======================================
**Set realistic daily targets. Don't get sucked into
thinking that you have to write 2000 words a day - that's
self-defeating. Set your own rhythm. For me, it was 300
words a day. At first I thought - how on earth will I finish
if I only write 300 words a day? But heck, I have finished.
Some days were better than others. But if I pushed too hard,
I was exhausted the next day. So I just plodded like a turtle -
slow and steady.=======================================
Inspirational Quote
=======================================
Several recent graduates have suggested that
we offer an inspirational quote or two to
further motivate and support you. If you
have any quotes that you find really helpful,
please send them to rachna@mentorcoach.com"When the work is being done, the heart is hurting
and you feel like you just can't take another moment
of what it is that you are reaching for, it is
important to know that you are probably almost there."
~~Deana Landers
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Your Own Coach
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If you are considering whether to get your own coach
to help you reach your academic goals, send any email
to: ben16-76471@autocontactor.com
=============================
BEN DEAN, Publisher, ABDSG
===============================
Ben holds a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of
Texas at Austin. He is the founder of MentorCoach
(www.MentorCoach.com), a virtual university
training accomplished mental health professionals
to become extraordinary coaches. With
Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., Ben is also the founder of
Authentic Happiness Coaching
(www.AuthenticHappinessCoaching.com), a virtual
university training educators, consultants, trainers,
therapists, parents and other professionals to apply
the principles of Authentic Happiness in their own
lives and in the lives of their clients, students, and
children. Ben lives in suburban Maryland with
his wife and two young children, Walnut, their
hamster, and Rubin, their cocker spaniel.
==================================
RACHNA D. JAIN, Editor, ABDSG
==================================
I'm a dissertation coach and licensed psychologist
based in Maryland, with a doctorate from the
University of Denver. I'm the Editor of the
ABDSG, as well as the Author of "Get It Done!
A Coach's Guide to Dissertation Success"
If you'd like to learn more about me or my book, please
visit my website: www.ExcelWithEaseCoaching.com
If you have questions about this newsletter, you
can direct them to me: rachna@mentorcoach.com
I'm excited to be working with you to meet your academic
goals. You can do it!
================================================
THE ALL-BUT-DISSERTATION SURVIVAL GUIDE(tm)
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" The All-But-Dissertation Survival Guide"(tm) focuses
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(c) Copyright 2003 Ben J. Dean. All rights reserved.
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