================================================
THE ALL-BUT-DISSERTATION SURVIVAL GUIDE(tm)
Devoted to practical steps for completing
your doctoral dissertation.
www.ecoach.com
================================================
To subscribe, visit www.ecoach.com
INDEX
1. Ben's Note
2. How to Keep Personal Crisis from causing Professional
Chaos By Rena Seltzer, ACSW
3. Words of Wisdom From New Ph.D.s
SUMMARY
In this issue, Rena Seltzer offers some tips for managing
professional obligations during personal crisis. We round
the issue out with Words of Wisdom from New Ph.D.'s.
<>===<>===<>===<>===<>===<>===<>===<>===<>===<>
Ben's Note
June 6, 2002
Dear ABD Survival Guide Reader,
We all know that, sometimes, "Life happens". And
no where is this more evident than during
the dissertation process.
It can be challenging to keep working on your
academic and educational goals when you're in the middle
of a significant life change- and this is where
this issue's feature article might help.
I encourage you to read through it, and take some next
steps that allow you to meet your professional obligations
with as little chaos as possible.
If you could use some motivation, also check out our
Words of Wisdom section.
See you in two weeks-
Warmly,
Ben
======================================================
How To Keep A Personal Crisis From Causing Professional
Chaos
By Rena Seltzer, ACSW
======================================================
The hardest time to stay focused on the work of
your dissertation is when you are experiencing
a personal crisis. Whether it is an illness, a
death in the family, a relationship ending, or
other difficulties, troubles in one's personal
life can throw even the most motivated person off
track. Common thoughts include, "I am too upset
to work," "my dissertation is insignificant
compared to this problem," and "I just need to
take care of myself right now."
While it is reasonable to take a short period of
time off to deal with a genuine crisis, if that
time begins to stretch out for more than a few
days, the procrastination itself will become a
crisis. How does a person manage to work when
going through sadness, grief, anger, or other
strong emotions?
1. Take fifteen minutes to write about whatever
is troubling you. This is your time to have your
feelings. Write down ten sentences that start
"I am sad because..." Then ten starting with
"I am angry because..." Then ten with "I am
afraid that..."
2. Write down unanswered questions.
Depending on the crisis these could include
"will my husband lose his job?" "Do I have
cancer?" "How will Mom manage without Dad?"
Develop a ritual to set these questions aside.
If it fits your spiritual beliefs, keep a box
of questions to turn over to God. If God is
not part of your belief system, just label a box
"Problems That Are Out Of My Control." Once you
have written down your most troubling questions,
imagine letting the box, or letting God hold onto
those problems while you work. They have not
gone away, but you can let go of them for the
next half hour while you work. Remind yourself
that doing your work does not mean that you are
not concerned about other issues. They are
important and you will come back to them.
3. Call a friend and tell them that you are
having difficulty focusing. Make a specific
plan as to what you will accomplish in the next
half-hour. Ask if you can call to check-in
when you have completed your goal. Even if your
friend will not be available, leave them a phone
message or send an email once you have completed
your tasks.
4. Schedule in time for self-care. During your
work day make yourself a cup of tea, take a ten
minute break to walk around the block, or play
some soothing music. Work earlier in the day,
and take some time in the evening to see a friend,
take a bath, or rent a video.
5. Focus on "One Day at a Time" and "One Minute
at a Time." If you start thinking down the road,
it can be very easy to become overwhelmed. Instead
focus on "what is in front of me to do today." If
the thought of sitting down to work for a whole day
seems impossible, just focus on the next half an
hour, or even the next ten minutes. Once a person
gets started, s/he often finds that the work is a
welcome break from the crisis that they are
experiencing.
6. Consciously change what you say to yourself.
Some positive messages might include, "I am upset
but I can still work," "My dissertation is
important to me," and "the rest of my life has
gone to hell, but at least I can feel good about
working on my dissertation."
=========================
About Rena Seltzer, ACSW
=========================
Rena Seltzer is a personal and professional coach
who enjoys coaching graduate students. She also
specializes in coaching physicians and lesbians
and gay men. She coaches via telephone with
email support, and likes the opportunity to
connect with people from across the country.
She has a black belt in Shorin Ryu Karate, and
resides in Ann Arbor, Michigan with her partner
and two young children.
She can be reached:
By email: Rseltzer@aol.com
By phone: (734) 665-4885
=======================================
Words of Wisdom from New Ph.D.'s.
=======================================
* Thank you so much for your support the last few
years. I finished!!
* You can't control everything. You--and only you--
can control finishing your dissertation.
* I found it helpful to 'get away' from everything
at least two or three-times down the stretch.
If possible, leave the family, the office, and
all distractions for at least three days with
the computer.
==========================================
BEN J. DEAN, Publisher, ABDSG
===============================
Ben holds a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of
Texas at Austin and is a psychologist in private
practice in Bethesda, Maryland.
In addition to his clinical practice, Ben loves to train
professionals to become virtual coaches. (If you would
like to see Ben's *other* free newsletter, you may
subscribe at: http://www.mentorcoach.com/)
If you would like to attend any of Ben's upcoming
workshops, send an email to: workshop@mentorcoach.com
Ben lives in suburban Maryland with his wife and two
children.
==================================
RACHNA D. JAIN, Editor, ABDSG
==================================
I hold a Doctor of Psychology degree from the University
of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology.
I am a licensed psychologist/life success coach in
Maryland, as well as Editor of the ABDSG. Please
contact me if you'd like to submit any articles for
publication, or if you have any questions about
dissertation coaching or the process of hiring a
dissertation coach.
I can be reached at: rachna@mentorcoach.com, or
through my website: www.excelwitheasecoaching.com.
I'm excited to be working with you to meet your academic
goals. You can do it!
================================================
THE ALL-BUT-DISSERTATION SURVIVAL GUIDE(tm)
================================================
"The All-But-Dissertation Survival Guide"(tm) focuses
on ways to help its readers more readily overcome the
roadblocks that often seem to stand in the way of
completing the dissertation. It is read throughout the
world.
=======================
VIRTUAL ABD ASSISTANCE
=======================
Would you like a "virtual assistant" who did whatever you
needed to help you move forward on your scholarly work
or on other parts of your life. If you'd like to learn more
about how a virtual assistant could help you and if you'd
like to contact one whom Ben uses, who is conscientious,
skillful, and extraordinarily competent, contact Sunny Bain at
sunny@mentorcoach.com
=====================================
INTERESTED IN WORKING WITH A DISSERTATION COACH?
READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP?
=================================================
Email ben16-76471@autocontactor.com
You'll receive an email outlining the application process,
follow the instructions and submit the form. Your
application will then be forwarded to potential coaches
so that you might arrange a free, initial consultation.
Various fee plans are available.
ABOUT TO GRADUATE?
=====================
First, congratulations!!!! Yeaaaaaa!!!!
Second, please send any email to: FreeAtLast@mentorcoach.com
Within seconds, you'll receive a note from Ben.
A FAVOR
------------
There are more than a million graduate students in the US
alone. Although we have subscribers worldwide, we have
barely scratched the surface. If you find this newsletter
helpful, forward it with your endorsement to your friends,
ABD list servers, sympathetic faculty and administration,
and, editors of print publications (who will have our full
permission to reprint these newsletters- for free--if they
wish).
ARCHIVE
-------------
Past issues of this newsletter are available at
http://www.ecoach.com/.
SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
--------------------------------------------
If you've received this copy from a friend or colleague and
would like your own subscription, you can sign up for it
directly at http://www.mentorcoach.com/abd/subscribe.htm
If you would like to have your name removed from the
subscription list, please unsubscribe at
http://www.mentorcoach.com/abd/subscribe.htm
CONTACT INFORMATION
----------------------------------
Ben J. Dean, Ph.D
MentorCoach(tm)
Voice: 301-986-5688
Fax: 301-913-9447
Email: mailto:ben@mentorcoach.com
Web: www.ecoach.com/
Web: www.mentorcoach.com
(c) Copyright 2001 Ben J. Dean. All rights reserved.
DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS
---------------------------------
The above material is copyrighted, but you may retransmit
or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single
word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact
information. However, you may not copy it to a web site.
Reprint permission will be freely granted, upon request,
to student newspapers, universities, and other non-profit
educational organizations. In addition, advance written
permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this
material in modified or altered form.